early wednesday morning.
dikeexairforces
Apr 04, 2007
we`re at victoria`s, kendra and i that is. they`re playing some stupid who wants to be a millionair? video game. i`m on the computer, ew blogging it. loser much? they can`t get the stupid question right, it`s kinda hilariouse. they kinda suck. the regis on the game is pretty much making fun of them.
today, faught with my dad. yeah as usual. all in a normal day. but other then that it was alrite. i couldn`t sleep though, my fucker of a next door nieghbor kept banging on the wall. i have no idea what they could have been doing making the noise that they were. i mean it would bang and then sound like scraping. i`m like "what the fuck?" and it was like 10:00 in the morning. who does that shit that early? go back to sleep shit! haha, other then that i slept until like 6:00. yeah kinda late, but whatever.
uh, parent shit. my dad frustrates me. he`s just rude for the sake of being rude. i sometimes think being mean to me makes him happy. even when he tries to be nice i can tell he doesn`t want to. but sure enough he`ll start acting like an asshole again. i honestly think he hates me, but i start to care less each time. i think why should i? he`ll never change and he`s always gunna be mean. i`m not to worried i have a year and i can leave. get outta his house forever. i think that he makes up things just to make it seem like i`m doing something wrong. sorry uh no, i don`t need to. i`ve become numb to his attitude.
getting outta town will be a good change. i can`t stress enough about how bad i wanna leave. vegas just isn`t the place for me. when i`m 18 i wanna leave it behind and never look back. to much past. to much pain. i need a fresh start. if i could leave now i would. i wish i could walk and just see where my feet take me. if i ended up in the middle of no where it would be better then being here. i`d take only what i needed and what i loved. i`ll pack up and leave this world behind.
i`ll be 17 in a week. i`m excited. getting older is always nerve racking though. i know i need to do more growing up then usual. i`m almost an adult and soon enough i`ll be alone. i`m gunna leave the rest behind. i wish memories where that easy. i wish there was something you could do and erase a year in your mind. think back and it never shows up. or i could re-record it. change the things i didn`t like. i guess you could say they where learning experiences. they`ve made me who i am today. i am stronger and wiser. i wanna do something this year that i`ll always remember and by remember i mean something good. something i want to remember.
you`re still on my mind, bothers me at times. i wish i could forget and leave it behind. kinda like it never happened. i`ve been wanting to cry but tears won`t come out. and i`m not sure yet why i want to cry. i`m not sure if it`s for you or even has anything to do with you. i doubt it at times, but then memories of you make me feel sick. love never looked so bad when it comes to you. forgetting though becomes easier day by day. the more your name stays silent the more i forget. soon enough you`ll be nothing. just a name or voice in the crowd.
falling out of love. it feels good once it happens.
today, faught with my dad. yeah as usual. all in a normal day. but other then that it was alrite. i couldn`t sleep though, my fucker of a next door nieghbor kept banging on the wall. i have no idea what they could have been doing making the noise that they were. i mean it would bang and then sound like scraping. i`m like "what the fuck?" and it was like 10:00 in the morning. who does that shit that early? go back to sleep shit! haha, other then that i slept until like 6:00. yeah kinda late, but whatever.
uh, parent shit. my dad frustrates me. he`s just rude for the sake of being rude. i sometimes think being mean to me makes him happy. even when he tries to be nice i can tell he doesn`t want to. but sure enough he`ll start acting like an asshole again. i honestly think he hates me, but i start to care less each time. i think why should i? he`ll never change and he`s always gunna be mean. i`m not to worried i have a year and i can leave. get outta his house forever. i think that he makes up things just to make it seem like i`m doing something wrong. sorry uh no, i don`t need to. i`ve become numb to his attitude.
getting outta town will be a good change. i can`t stress enough about how bad i wanna leave. vegas just isn`t the place for me. when i`m 18 i wanna leave it behind and never look back. to much past. to much pain. i need a fresh start. if i could leave now i would. i wish i could walk and just see where my feet take me. if i ended up in the middle of no where it would be better then being here. i`d take only what i needed and what i loved. i`ll pack up and leave this world behind.
i`ll be 17 in a week. i`m excited. getting older is always nerve racking though. i know i need to do more growing up then usual. i`m almost an adult and soon enough i`ll be alone. i`m gunna leave the rest behind. i wish memories where that easy. i wish there was something you could do and erase a year in your mind. think back and it never shows up. or i could re-record it. change the things i didn`t like. i guess you could say they where learning experiences. they`ve made me who i am today. i am stronger and wiser. i wanna do something this year that i`ll always remember and by remember i mean something good. something i want to remember.
you`re still on my mind, bothers me at times. i wish i could forget and leave it behind. kinda like it never happened. i`ve been wanting to cry but tears won`t come out. and i`m not sure yet why i want to cry. i`m not sure if it`s for you or even has anything to do with you. i doubt it at times, but then memories of you make me feel sick. love never looked so bad when it comes to you. forgetting though becomes easier day by day. the more your name stays silent the more i forget. soon enough you`ll be nothing. just a name or voice in the crowd.
falling out of love. it feels good once it happens.
